Sunday, March 3, 2013
TURNING WEST
I was hesitant on opening the door to morning. Knocking ever so quietly I almost hadn't heard it through the fogged pane of my awakening. I first took a finger and moved it across the glass to clear a spot for looking out. Not finding anything in the darkness beyond of more interest than the warm curl of the bedcover and the dent in my pillow, I tried to ignore it, but like a determined salesman it kept up it's rattle. So, giving in, I put on my bathrobe, heading to the kitchen where Manna waited impatiently to start her day, the warm curl of her kennel long minutes ago losing all it's flavor for a pre sunrise romp in the yard.
Had I known the script the sun was beginning to write while still hiding behind that eastern curtain of dark, I maybe wouldn't have been such a reluctant breakfast guest. While watching the high half moon running with the scattered clouds, and listening as the mockingbirds discuss there promises in different languages, I noticed just the slightest tint of red on the underbelly of the clouds to the west. It wasn't long before the flower bloomed in a spectacular fashion; a pallet lit with crimson and purple against a pearl blue sky. I envied some friends who live high on a hill to the east who's windows must be filled with a spectacular panorama of light, our front porch being the best place I can catch the show. Holding onto the porch column with one hand and leaning out affords the best alternative for viewing. But, It was beautiful anyway. Manna was happy just to sit in the doorway, more than ready for me to come back in to tend to important stuff...like her breakfast.
What was interesting is, as I was in Zen mode absorbed in the increasing change of the spectacular to the east, I turned for a moment to the west. There, waiting like the patient eyes of a dog ready to play, was a more subtle, but beautifully arranged fusion of sky, clouds and reflected red sunlight. A wet juicy watercolor running down the paper of heaven. It lasted just for a few moments, then faded as the eastern sky became more intense. I was glad to have noticed such an unintended surprise.
I do tend sometimes, to only see what's played out before me, without making the effort to turn around to see another view, missing possibilities of new horizons. It's easy to to do, to be absorbed in the present picture of things, whether the picture comes from an external or internal source, it's essence being positive or negative. I will try to turn around more often, whether it's to the waking knock and ever changing surprises of Nature, the open door of a loving family, or the outreached hands of a friend. I will need to be reminded of this from time to time I'm sure.
I think Manna is reminding me now that it's time go out and throw the ball.
Sounds good to me.
Had I known the script the sun was beginning to write while still hiding behind that eastern curtain of dark, I maybe wouldn't have been such a reluctant breakfast guest. While watching the high half moon running with the scattered clouds, and listening as the mockingbirds discuss there promises in different languages, I noticed just the slightest tint of red on the underbelly of the clouds to the west. It wasn't long before the flower bloomed in a spectacular fashion; a pallet lit with crimson and purple against a pearl blue sky. I envied some friends who live high on a hill to the east who's windows must be filled with a spectacular panorama of light, our front porch being the best place I can catch the show. Holding onto the porch column with one hand and leaning out affords the best alternative for viewing. But, It was beautiful anyway. Manna was happy just to sit in the doorway, more than ready for me to come back in to tend to important stuff...like her breakfast.What was interesting is, as I was in Zen mode absorbed in the increasing change of the spectacular to the east, I turned for a moment to the west. There, waiting like the patient eyes of a dog ready to play, was a more subtle, but beautifully arranged fusion of sky, clouds and reflected red sunlight. A wet juicy watercolor running down the paper of heaven. It lasted just for a few moments, then faded as the eastern sky became more intense. I was glad to have noticed such an unintended surprise.
I do tend sometimes, to only see what's played out before me, without making the effort to turn around to see another view, missing possibilities of new horizons. It's easy to to do, to be absorbed in the present picture of things, whether the picture comes from an external or internal source, it's essence being positive or negative. I will try to turn around more often, whether it's to the waking knock and ever changing surprises of Nature, the open door of a loving family, or the outreached hands of a friend. I will need to be reminded of this from time to time I'm sure.
I think Manna is reminding me now that it's time go out and throw the ball.
Sounds good to me.
Friday, March 1, 2013
A SIDEWALK STIRRING
Deep as I can go this morning is about half way into a white chocolate mocha sitting before me on a little iron table outside "Capt'n Kirk's" coffee kiosk. The logo for Capt'n Kirk's is a multi hued Amazonian parrot. I assume the owner named his coffee business after his bird, as I don't remember the Captain of the Enterprise sitting on the bridge of his space ship barking out orders with a parrot on his shoulder, though in thinking about it, it might have been a good addition. " SCOTTY, WE'VE GOT TWO KLINGON SHIPS ON OUR TAIL..I NEED MORE POWER!" "I CAN'T DOOO IT CAPTAIN! SOMETHUN'S BI'N DEPLEEETING THA DELITHIUM CRYSTALS, IF AYE POOSH IT ENY HARDER SHE'S GOIN' TA BLOW!" Then the bird on Jim's shoulder..."WAAAAK...DELITHIUM CRYSTALS..DELITHEIUM CRYSTALS..WAAAAKKK..DELICOUSE..WAAAKK!"
Manna and I wait a while more to see if the Captain shows up, thinking maybe he will stop by to drop off some beans for later grinding, or water the plants out front. I could maybe drop a question to him on what's up with the bird. He doesn't. Disappointed, I grab what's left of my coffee and we wander down the street.
Fern Street in South Park at 7:00 in the morning is not exactly a hub of bustling morning activity. I'm not seeing any delivery trucks double parked throwing stuff out the back to waiting customers while taxi's lean on their horns. The sidewalks are not rattled with the countless footfalls of busy folks madly rushing to their work. No construction workers, window washers, street sweepers or shopkeepers setting up wares on the sidewalk..at least not this early. I do see the man who manages the grocery store standing outside wearing a blue hawaiian shirt having a smoke. The little french cafe on the corner has a customer sitting under a red patio umbrella. I'm sure they are preparing his crepe right now on a black griddle shiny with butter, as I am tempted by the aroma as we walk by. I say a brief hello to the pizza guy, who is carrying a box into the side door of the restaurant. Manna pulls on the leash wanting to give him a hearty greeting, one that would most likely involve a box of expensive wines crashing to the sidewalk. I hold her back. The local exercise gym that took over the old fire station has a few intrepid souls inside. I did that for a while last year, and I will do so again. At least I keep thinking that, but first, I'm going to go check out those crepes.
A quiet morning in South Park. Everyone is moving at their own pace, heading in their own direction, following their own compass...just like you.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Just to Dance
An early hour this morning spent at Dog Beach. A rapturous time for a dog, where all the energies of life distill into a pristine combination of sunrise, sea and sand. Manna pulls me earnestly to the point where she can be let off the leash, and speeds without fear or hesitation into the fray of the leaping, running, splashing canine heaven. Dogs of all shapes, sizes and breeds seem to be as one as all joyously cavort at the edge of earth and sea. Spontaneously, a celebration of life and being alive, as if this moment was all there is. I watch and learn; they are right. This is our only moment, because life has no guarantees, no promises to keep. The time we live, moment to moment , is all we really have.
As I have grown older, this concept of life and the transience of it has come more to the forefront of my being, as I suppose it does for most people. And yet, it does not scare me, or make me anxious in living my life. As I watch Manna play with the other dogs wholeheartedly, without even a a crumb of misgiving, I learn again how important it is for us to put away those fears and anxieties that hold us back from being truly ourselves. Of the joyful pursuit of life. Living on the edge of sea and sand, between sky and earth, within the space of ambiguity that makes us both human and spiritual, bringing us together in amazing ways under a universal umbrella some of us may call God, or Nature, or simply just being in this wonderful universe we call our home.
I still have a lot to learn as I watch Manna simply be a creature on her own terms, one that does not dwell on what can be, but simply what is, and finding a true, unbroken, and evolving happiness in just that. Living in the rhythm of life that manifests itself in total love. I have a lot to learn. I have a lot to learn.
As C and I watch the playful dance of the dogs, running, jumping, interrelating with each other, I admire their honesty and purpose. Souls that communicate in ways we cannot comprehend, but seem to work for them. The heartbeat of each moment becomes the wisdom of their being, and their capacity of relating to the world and each other. I will think on this, and hopefully gain something from it. Maybe, if I take what is in front of me to heart, I will learn just to dance.
We will soon walk back across the sand, leaving this beach to others, and maybe, just maybe, I will pick up a shell along the way, put it to my ear, and listen for a song to dance to. Then the three of us will dance all the way home.
I still have a lot to learn as I watch Manna simply be a creature on her own terms, one that does not dwell on what can be, but simply what is, and finding a true, unbroken, and evolving happiness in just that. Living in the rhythm of life that manifests itself in total love. I have a lot to learn. I have a lot to learn.
As C and I watch the playful dance of the dogs, running, jumping, interrelating with each other, I admire their honesty and purpose. Souls that communicate in ways we cannot comprehend, but seem to work for them. The heartbeat of each moment becomes the wisdom of their being, and their capacity of relating to the world and each other. I will think on this, and hopefully gain something from it. Maybe, if I take what is in front of me to heart, I will learn just to dance.
We will soon walk back across the sand, leaving this beach to others, and maybe, just maybe, I will pick up a shell along the way, put it to my ear, and listen for a song to dance to. Then the three of us will dance all the way home.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
TRUE NORTH
She runs ahead of me this morning, a rolling clear sheet of sea chasing her up the black sand. A beach to ourselves except for the couple wearing matching red vests, who's Great Dane is tentatively testing its feet in the water. The first soft reach of an approaching storm due to hit later this day, but already the surf is voluminous with foam, the sky leaden and dark in the first eyes of dawn. The wind has cold and bracing fingers. I'm not sure what possessed me to leave a warm house for this, but Manna seems indifferent to the chill, so I will move along for the exercise, a hooded sweatshirt being a warm shell of sanctuary.
As she runs, sniffs and rolls in the sand, I wonder if somewhere deep inside she is still a creature of the wilderness, a descendant of wolves, cautious in her bearing yet free and confident in her own being. Running silently with the pack along a deserted beach that stretches for ten thousand years, and an eternity of wolf-song passed down through countless generations.
At one point, she lay on her belly on the sand fifty yards or so from me. She stayed there and starred out toward the boiling surf. I watched and waited, and then turned my gaze to the horizon. A fishing boat was making it's way toward the mouth of the harbor, running lights still bright in the half light of dawn, dancing on the surface of the black swells.
I don't know what so interested her, but she stayed motionless for the longest time watching the boat churn its way north. Whether her keen ears could hear the distant cadence of laughter and talk of the fishermen as they made their way to port, or the call of the seagulls that dove and swirled around the stern, I could not tell. She was intent on it though, and her interest drew me into wondering what it was like in that warm cabin, maybe a first cup of morning coffee cupped in both hands as we make our way to safe port before the buffeting storm.
Time to go. We take the long walk back along the sand to where the car waits to journey us back home. C will probably be up, and Manna and I will have stories to tell. Stories of cold wet sand that still clings to us, and a sharp white light of new sun that happened to cut a crease briefly through the clouds as we walked, illuminating the sand in a bright shingle of stars. Of a long cast of bleak and lonely beach that we brought back in silent thought, and the transient running lights of the boat that carries us over seas of light and darkness heading true north, always bringing us home.
As she runs, sniffs and rolls in the sand, I wonder if somewhere deep inside she is still a creature of the wilderness, a descendant of wolves, cautious in her bearing yet free and confident in her own being. Running silently with the pack along a deserted beach that stretches for ten thousand years, and an eternity of wolf-song passed down through countless generations.
At one point, she lay on her belly on the sand fifty yards or so from me. She stayed there and starred out toward the boiling surf. I watched and waited, and then turned my gaze to the horizon. A fishing boat was making it's way toward the mouth of the harbor, running lights still bright in the half light of dawn, dancing on the surface of the black swells.
I don't know what so interested her, but she stayed motionless for the longest time watching the boat churn its way north. Whether her keen ears could hear the distant cadence of laughter and talk of the fishermen as they made their way to port, or the call of the seagulls that dove and swirled around the stern, I could not tell. She was intent on it though, and her interest drew me into wondering what it was like in that warm cabin, maybe a first cup of morning coffee cupped in both hands as we make our way to safe port before the buffeting storm.
Time to go. We take the long walk back along the sand to where the car waits to journey us back home. C will probably be up, and Manna and I will have stories to tell. Stories of cold wet sand that still clings to us, and a sharp white light of new sun that happened to cut a crease briefly through the clouds as we walked, illuminating the sand in a bright shingle of stars. Of a long cast of bleak and lonely beach that we brought back in silent thought, and the transient running lights of the boat that carries us over seas of light and darkness heading true north, always bringing us home.
Friday, February 15, 2013
A LITTLE WILDERNESS
Spruce, Bancroft Creek, Los Penasquitos, San Clemente, Jamacha, Little Sycamore, Mission Trails and Oak. Names that can express the wildness or particular eccocentric aspect of a canyon's natural heredity and location.
There are a number of canyons within a short walk from our home, which I have spent countless hours through the years with our dogs. I especially like the early morning or time right before sunset in these places, as the pointed slant of orange light and shadow conveys an additional dimension to everything that thrives within these hidden pockets of solemn beauty. The trails that wind within always bring a surprise around a bend, whether it's the nonchalant coyote sitting in the path ahead, and then dissolving slowly into the undercover growth, a lone hawk on a fencepost, quiet dappled shade of an arching oak, or just the low hum of bees tagging the powder blue bush flowers smiling brightly to a hot summer sun.
Wilderness can mean a lot of things depending on where you find yourself living. To some, wilderness can be found only in the far reaches of mountains or deserts, truly removed from our urban landscape. To others, a sense of one with nature does not necessarily need a long trip away from our normal routine. Wilderness and the personal pleasure it brings may be found in snippets of time, and the most mundane of places if we seek out the layered sounds, the multi hued song of nature, and the amazing tapestry of living things we share this earth with.
Manna and I just came back from a snippet of time in the canyon. She came back with the halo of new scents and experience, I brought back a pocketful of wilderness, the sun on my shirt, and a smile in my hand.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
PEARL OF MORNING
With the smallest hush of light , I'm beginning to hear the song of morning chanting it's low cadence far off in the distance. The first crackling of dawn. As I have come to savor this early time, I will try not to disturb the night too much from it's rustling sleep. A cup of coffee at the table hopefully will not jiggle its shoulder too sharply. An egg or two in a pot may not arouse it too much. I will take Manna outside for a moment, my bare feet keeping light so not to ruffle night's feathered back. Anything to extend this silent time, before all of the day's ebb and flow over runs me.
Manna now snoozing, head on lap. Rumors of possible invisible squirrels or rabbits to chase through the light and shadow, and the leaping joy of a frizbee in the air may be running through her half awakening state. Like a baby shark, she will later be cruising through the house, eyes intently tuned to her next prey of a nice chewsome shoe, mislaid approachable sweater, or a table cloth that's easily pulled to send whatever is on top askew across the kitchen floor.
Reluctantly I will soon have to turn over the reigns of repose, and check out of Hotel Kanji (Japanese symbol for tranquility). But I will try to hold this quiet pearl in my hand as long as I can this morning, and maybe slip one into Manna's paw while she's still sleeping and see if she holds on for a while.
I doubt it though, she has busy things to do.
Manna now snoozing, head on lap. Rumors of possible invisible squirrels or rabbits to chase through the light and shadow, and the leaping joy of a frizbee in the air may be running through her half awakening state. Like a baby shark, she will later be cruising through the house, eyes intently tuned to her next prey of a nice chewsome shoe, mislaid approachable sweater, or a table cloth that's easily pulled to send whatever is on top askew across the kitchen floor.
Reluctantly I will soon have to turn over the reigns of repose, and check out of Hotel Kanji (Japanese symbol for tranquility). But I will try to hold this quiet pearl in my hand as long as I can this morning, and maybe slip one into Manna's paw while she's still sleeping and see if she holds on for a while.
I doubt it though, she has busy things to do.
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